Ah, Dr. D… Why are you so handsome and nice and married and with kids?

Remembering the things you didn’t do after you’ve already gone home and slept for 6 hours.

My entry into the new year was very anticlimatic. It was below anticlimatic.  The floor was understaffed due to a code green in the emergency room, so I had to go into work four hours early, doing a 13.5 hour shift that was probably the catalyst to my illness. 

On New Year’s Day, after that horrific shift, I caught a glimpse of myself in the car mirror and my face was literally green.  Any evidence of life was drained out of me.   That night I curled up into the fetal position to ward off bodyaches and a cough so persistent that I ended up vomiting all over my blanket.  It had been years since the last time I vomited (that didn’t involve alcohol).  I was partly bewildered and partly amused because it seemed like such a childish thing, to vomit in bed.

From what I can understand of my Vietnamese-French doctor (her accent is so strange), she put me on antibiotics, codeine and an inhaler.  Got an excuse note to be off work this weekend (yay), but pretty much losing half of my income for this payperiod (meh). 

Last week I scored a teal yoga mat for $20 (originally $70), and am aching to go to bikram, but that could be considered a form of bioterrorism in my current condition.   Back in the corner you go…


When the professor asks a question to the front row: 


When the professor asks a question to the back row: 


I’m Not the Cursing Kind, But…

"Jesus fucking Christ…"

It’s out of my character to say such offensive things, but after agreeing to stay overtime after my night shift, I found myself completely overwhelmed when right at shift change, my patients went downhill. 

Systolic blood pressure in the 80’s.  Tachycardic in the high 130’s.  Jackson Pratt draining 300cc+ of serous liquid.  Urine output in the last 8 hours is 200cc.  Speaks no lick of English and the MD is talking at her with no efforts to make sure she understands. 

"Jesus fucking Christ…"

Another patient thinks he’s having a stroke when it’s really gas pains.  Then he had explosive diarrhea. 

My other patient is in tears because she refused to be premedicated before I removed her PCA dilaudid, and now she is at “maximum pain”.  Girl, I TOLD you to take that Norco before I took away your PCA.  -__-

Holy heifer. I KO’ed when I fell into bed. 

Life is happening faster than I can document. 

Harry Chapin - Cat’s in the Cradle

I’m currently having a few issues which are confirming that I am definitely transitioning into adulthood.

Shift 3 out of 6.

This poor demented patient is trying to kill me.

I need a 3-day weekend stat.